it's the time of the year
where i reminisce
about things that
could have been,
things that i screwed up,
people hurting each other,
et cetera.
why do we hate so much?
why do we do something that might
hurt not only them, but also us?
this is one of those unexplainable things..
and what i need is
strength from Him,
always ...
let me ask you a question,
if you had a chance to redo your life,
would you want to?
without mistakes,
there wouldn't be any understanding,
wouldn't be any acceptance of faults,
wouldn't be any more of life's lessons wouldn't it?
and isn't that what life is about?
making mistakes, but
having the chance to redeem yourself?
rather than a close to perfect life
with absolutely no misdoings and
the inability to receive any of life's
precious lessons.
that is my thoughts on it.
If i haven't had made those reckless mistakes,
I wouldn't have known what i know now.
I wouldn't have grown, as well.
I need a pensieve.

and i'll also need sushi.
lots of sushi.


tomorrow, is another day.
the start of a new term,
the start of a new guilt free life
at the boundaries of memories that was once
enlightening.
something i quitted to not feel
the wrath of it anymore,
couldn't say I didn't regret it.
but being in remorse is not the first step
to self actualization!
and yes,
that is what I'm anticipating to achieve!
I'm also starting to think back on the days
with piano playing as my best friend.
Maybe i'll take it back again.
albeit the atrocious grade i got for the grade 7 practical.
merely a pass!
i'm definitely not of the intellectual,
nor the musically inclined sort of person!
that leaves it out of the question.
but perhaps musical talent is not the answer
to piano playing?
afterall,i'm not aiming to have a career out of
that. I'll think about it.
I'm also drowned in projects,
so as the school semester starts again
i doubt i would have the free time
i had in the holidays to blog and
do nonsensical stuff.
glad i've watched many movies during the break
to leave my head filled for a while!
also met up with some people
i wouldn't have the chance to see during the normal times..
like Rueben, Harry, Jenny, Sharon, Seck Wei, et cetera!
wonderful people :)
and besides that,
I'll also have numerous tuitions to attend to now,
thanks very much to my utter disbelief of results.
under 20 for add math?!
Guess my nose'd be buried into books.
which speaking of books,
i'm rather inclined to it lately!
been reading the entire Harry Potter series again.
YES, i am a dweeb and i tend to do that
during long periods of free time.
I'm currently at the sixth book,
Half-blood prince!
which is amazingly fast consider the fact that the books
are really thick! but i never get bored of them!
also been reading Shopaholic (in Manhattan),
which is a big difference with HP, which is
labelled as fantasy i guess.
Rebecca Bloomwood is starting to irk me!
perhaps not a shopaholic myself i don't see the
tempt in buying loads of rubbish
while buried in debts! but nevertheless, a
good read! also read Twilight and New Moon again.
and unfortunately tore Twilight's cover in half!
Not entirely my fault, i assure you ;)
and also removed my polish (turquoise!)
and cut my nails. feels very unusual
typing on the phone and the laptop
with stubby naked fingers now.
and anyway,
i did something very surprising today.
I'm not sure if i had the guts to tell you all what,
truthfully i don't think i have the guts to tell anyone!
except Hello Kitty.
I knew what I did was a mere gesture,
and not enough to compensate all,
but if I don't ever start,
when am I ever to end it, right? :)
it's nearly dawn!
how i wish i could be lying on a beach in
the Maldives reading my books,
and having sushi than going to school
and getting my biology (i'll inform you guys later!)
marks and learning rubbish (sorry Mr. A!)
from Mr Amara. really hope I could
advise him in some strong deodorant
and a mic. could hardly
hear what he's ranting to himself in front.
plus his penmanship is so much more
horrible than mine
(that is saying alot, considering my penmanship is really
horrible these days)
that I don't understand what he's writing or drawing
or doodling on the board all the time!
I feel guilty insulting him like this,
afterall, he did teach me how to find gradients.
and he's always a pushover in the homework
department, :P
and it's raining now, great.

XOXO..
love always.